I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
