Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
