i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
