And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
