I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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