Do you still have your period?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
