Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
