But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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