you traded sex for a burrito?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
