you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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