did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
