Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
