I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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