is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
