he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
