I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize