She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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