this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
