I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I believe in your delicious
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
