What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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