Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
