she was so not down for the gang bang
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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