I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize