3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
