I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
