The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
