I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
