btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
