well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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