can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
