it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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