is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You pole danced in your parka.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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