apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
