True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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