Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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