I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
