And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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