Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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