I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
