Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
