My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
