haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
and you fell through a lawn chair
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
