I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
