Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love having hate sex.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
