Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
