My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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