weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize