Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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