dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
