Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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