Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
