Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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