Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize