dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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