Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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