Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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