I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
