And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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